MY JUNK EMAIL ASKS...

Doritos or Cheetos? Come on, that's no contest. It's Cheetos. Along with being a spectacular shade of orange not found in nature, Cheetos crunch at a good three or four times the volume of Doritos. Also, if you hold a Cheeto and a Dorito up next to each other, the Dorito will show fear.

Let us not forget this.

DES MOINES, Iowa (AP) -- A motorcade with two sheriff's cars and a fire truck were part of the ceremony that helped unveil a giant Cheeto as a tourist attraction in northwest Iowa. The event culminated with the Cheeto's first live television appearance.

The Cheeto appeared slightly smaller than a tennis ball and dwarfed a regular size piece of the snack food. It weighs only six-tenths of an ounce but has quite a girth, Wilson has said.

The Cheeto will be on permanent display in a glass case at Sister Sarah's Restaurant in Algona.

Frito-Lay, the Texas-based maker of Cheetos, donated items to be auctioned at the event. About $1,600 was raised for the Kossuth County food bank.

Perhaps one day I can make a pilgrimage to Algona and be healed.