Wednesday, July 20, 2005


I suppose watching Fox News is sort of my unhealthy coping mechanism, and this evening I was treated with Bo Dietl being interviewed by Neil Cavuto, or rather Cavuto letting Dietl smell an Arab shirt and then setting him loose on an entire culture.

From NewsHounds (Warning: like so much of what appears on Fox News, this is plain old hate masquerading as working-class straight-talk):
Dietl said he has been to Saudi Arabia, to Riyadh and Jeddah, "the whole joint over there, boppin' around. You got a bunch of people, about 9,000 what they call royal family. They're all inbreeds. They marry each other and half of them are mongoleze [sic], and all that kind of stuff."

Dietl again, about Saudi Arabia: "They got oil, we need oil, we should go over there and take the oil. Everyone hates us anyway in these Muslim countries."

Dietl said Muslims believe that if a bullet is dipped in pig's blood, "if they get shot with it and they get killed, they can't go to never never land with the 72 virgins." Dietl suggested all our troops in Iraq start dipping their bullets in pig's blood, they tell the world that they're doing it, and maybe that'll help.

Dietl said he just met with John Meyer's son, "just back from Flueeja [sic]. I keep sayin' the wrong words. I don't even want to say these words because I hate the places anyway." Dietl said Meyer's son told him that when they attacked that town (Fallujah), "they went in and they found more syringes, they found more crystal meth," that "not besides being religious they're all jacked up on all kinda drugs there." Dietl said sometimes "they gotta shoot three or four times to take them out. This is our problem with dealing with real crazies. What do you do with a mad dog? You put a bullet in a mad dog's head."

Needless to say, the only mad dog to be seen here was Dietl himself, flecks of spittle flying from his mouth as he barked his racist nonsense through the rolling, unshaven seas of his many chins. One could almost smell the well bourbon on his breath. I'm used to a certain level of xenophobia on Fox, but this crap almost put me off my saag paneer. Saag paneer, dammit!

Dietl is the most decorated policeman in New York City history. Excellent. Why this should cause us to give a damn what he thinks about the Middle East or Islam is anyone's guess. My best idea is that having this clown on the show made the smarmy, unctuous Neil Cavuto seem almost reasonable by comparison. That's tough, but Dietl came close.

Look, I understand that Dietl's upset. I would be upset too if Stephen Baldwin had played me in the overly sensationalized, almost straight-to-video movie version of my life. But this sort of racist shit belongs at the end of a Queens bar, not on a news channel, even one as questionable as Fox. One can imagine the sustained outrage from Cavuto, O'Reilly, Gibson and the rest of the Fox apparat were similar statements about Christianity or Judaism to appear on al Jazeera. But then, comparing al Jazeera to Fox is rather unfair. To al Jazeera. I apologize.

P.S. When it comes time to make the film version of my life, I will of course be played by Bernie Mac.

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